insusurro | ARRIVAL.

ARRIVAL.

𝑰𝑵𝑺𝑼𝑺𝑼𝑹𝑹𝑶: 𝑨 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑵𝒀

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 you moved under your own power. The shadows that dwelt in the corners of your vision vanished, the world is bright and the shackles of destiny fall from your liberated limbs.

You're free.

But before you can take that next step, before you can alter your fate, a terrible howling fills your ears. It's an ill wind full of malice, one that rips you off of your feet and back, back, back from this chance to seize your destiny. The shadows coalesce into a single entity, its hands locking around your throat. It cannot let this stand.

You think that maybe this is the end. The world goes dark as it rushes past you, this is the end.

Except you wake to the feeling of rain on your skin.

The cliffs around you bare the scars of a fierce battle. Before you, a massive city faces the sea. Behind you, greenery sprawls for miles. Midgar has never looked so beautiful, but it has also never looked so unlike itself. The Sister Ray points proudly towards the sea. A bustling city crawls out from its shadow, looking wealthier and more robust than the slums ever did. You don't have long to ponder this.

Because you aren't alone. Others are coming to, looking just as confused and uncertain as you do. Some are battleworn and bloody, as if they were pulled from a fierce battle. Others appear to be in perfect health, as if they were simply pulled from a long slumber, though no less confused and lost. The howling that filled your slowly begins to fade, and as it does, the rain begins to clear.

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐆𝐀𝐑 is within a few hours walking distance. 𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐌 lies not much further in the opposite direction. There is no presence urging you to walk to one or the other, no voice from on high telling you what path your feet should walk. Underneath this infinite blue sky the choice to go - or to stay - is entirely yours.

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐈𝐓?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Rude wasn't the strategist of the team, and being in this position didn't make it any less obvious how lacking he was at it. Doing what he was told was far easier than trying to figure out the right course. Left in that situation he's likely to follow his emotions, and that wouldn't be ideal

The vision from just a moment ago was still vivid in his mind, and he doesn't immediately recognize it as a specific memory, so he just pushes it aside to begin walking. His job isn't to use his intuition, it's to do what was expected of him. Right now that was protecting Rufus wherever he decided to go.]

Understood.

[Rude follows along closely when he notices the slight waver in Rufus' step, and mentally prepares himself for the possibility he may have to catch him if he falls.]

If you need a rest, we can take short breaks.

[Rufus pulled at the bandage at his neck as they walked, just letting it drop to the ground without a glance back. He was done being at the mercy of Jenova and Sephiroth. He was going to build a world that was free of either one of them. Right now he had to find out what had brought them here and why.

He didn't like not knowing things. He glanced at Rude when he suggested taking breaks. As frustrating as it was he knew he had his limits now. There was only so much he could force himself to do these days. He let out a breath but nodded. He would let himself lay down later when they got to Healen and assessed their situation.]

We'll see. I have more important things to do than rest. We have to be careful since we're exposed out here. In the city, we at least have some protection.

[The bandages were strange to see. He thought he knew everything about the goings on of Rufus' life, Tseng would have mentioned if he'd been hurt. Something about it doesn't add up. On the bright side there doesn't seem to be any sign of injury beneath the bandage so he doesn't bring it up.

At least he was sounding like himself. The Rufus he knew was exactly this focused on accomplishing his goals. Rude simply nods as they continue to walk in silence for a moment. He's just going over the facts of their arrival, mulling it over while they travel to help pass the time.

Once they're nearly halfway, he finally speaks up.]

Before I woke up, I had a dream I was being choked by those strange cloaked spirits. The last memory I have before that is flying you off the rooftop of the building outside ~~your father's~~ the former president's office.

[Rufus stopped, turning to face Rude, He wrinkled his nose, suddenly reaching up under his shirt to rip off the bandages that had been wrapped around his chest and waist. They were so uncomfortable he wanted them off right now. They weren't bloody but stained with a black substance. He just tossed them aside, relieved when they were off.

He peered at Rude curiously, frowning. The spirits were unsettling, he didn't know what to make of them just yet.]

That was over two years ago. The last thing I remember- [He looked down at his hand, at the now unblemished skin.]

I was somewhere different.

[The bandages aren't red with blood but black with..Rude had no idea what. He hesitates in whatever it was he was going to say when Rufus continues to pull those bandages away and drop them on the ground as they walked, just littering the path like they were leaving a trial for someone to follow.]

Two years ago?

[His voice sounds oddly calm for a revelation like that, but he's not convinced he isn't still dreaming just yet. And if it is, there wouldn't be any real punishment in treating Rufus informally.]

It can't be two years. I just saw you yesterday. [Rude grabs his employer (is that even relevant anymore out here?) by the arm, stopping him in his tracks so he can draw him forward and turn his forearm this way and that, followed by his palm. His skin looked fine with no traces of anything black that could have dirtied the bandages.]

You were there- you don't remember anything from the last two years? [Rufus stopped, surprised when Rude grabbed his arm to inspect it but he didn't resist.

He winced slightly, expecting it to hurt when Rude touched him. He had spent so long with the black sores that were incredibly painful to the touch, it was difficult to forget it since it had only been a couple of hours since they had suddenly vanished. The only marks on his arm now are two faint injection points where the IV line had been.]

The last time I saw you, you were standing in front of me- you saw- [He wasn't sure what was going on but the way Rude was looking at his arm was confusing.]

[The wince is what confirms for him that this isn't a dream. The contact feels real and not imagined, and that normal warmth to his hand is startling because he'd never dare to interact with Rufus like this at any point. Maybe in the depths of his subconscious he thought the man might have blood the temperature of ice.

He glances back to the most recent one Rufus discarded and then releases him, clearing his throat to reestablish some amount of their regular dynamic.]

Apologies. I thought-- [Rude shakes his head.] I don't think my last two years and your last two years are the same. You fought Cloud Strife, the former SOLDIER on the rooftop just after your father was killed. Reno and I were there for extraction.

That explains it. You don't remember Geostigma.

[That was going to be something to explain. Rufus lowered his hand, pulling the sleeve of his coat down. That encounter with Cloud on the rooftop of the Shinra felt like a lifetime ago even if it had been just a few years.]

I'll tell you what happened but not here. We're standing out in the open and I want to get to Midgar first. There is a lot I have to tell you.

[And he needed time to figure out just how he was going to do that.]

Geostigma? [It sounds like something that was more up Hojo's alley, and he made it a point to stay as far away from that part of Shinra's operations as he was able.]

Alright.

[Rude doesn't protest the suggestion. He wants to know more, but not like this. They could be ambushed, so a more secure location was a priority. He nods and continues walking.]

Regardless of what happened during that time, it's still my job to keep you safe, Mr. President.

[Rufus nodded as they started walking once more. He wasn't sure if Rude would feel the same way after he told him about what happened in the last couple of years.

He had offered the Turks their freedom during Meteorfall but the four of them had decided to stay by his side despite everything that happened. It was something that he would forever be grateful for and he would never take advantage of it even if he had to put them in danger more than once.

He was silent as they walked, focused on both what he was going to tell Rude, and on keeping on his feet as they slowly approached the edge of Midgar. He decided to let Rude lead the way when they got to the city to find them a suitable place to rest and talk.]

[Rude couldn't really imagine a world where he wasn't a Turk. Or a world where the Turks no longer did the bidding of Shinra. If given that same ultimatum over again at this point he was likely to agree once more. As long as he didn't have to do the bidding of Rufus' father's people.

He could kill a man with his bare hands with little to no effort if he knew they were enemy's of his employer, but killing a whole sector's worth of people for reasons that were shady at best was something that wouldn't ever sit well with him. Nothing could be worse than that.

Until they got to the outskirts of the city he remained silent, surveying the area until he spotted a small empty bar that would give them enough privacy to have a conversation. He reaches behind him into the wait of his belt and verifies he's packing in case he has to dispatch any civilians.]

This should be fine. Unless you need more privacy.

[Rufus was relieved that they were able to reach Edge without incident. He wasn't in the best condition to help in a fight after his encounter with Kadaj- he was unarmed and by now he was feeling the exhaustion sitting heavily on him. There was a lot that he had to do before he could let himself the indulgence of getting some sleep.

But he did allow himself to sit down at one of the tables in the abandoned bar, ignoring the dust and grime. He had been in worse places so he really didn't care. Before they went anywhere else Rufus decided that he owed Rude the truth of what happened in the last couple of years. He wasn't sure who or what they could encounter in this strange version of their world so they both had to be prepared.]

I suppose I should start at the beginning. That night when I took my father's place. It seems like a lifetime ago I was standing over Midgar on the 70th floor.

[He closed his eyes and for a moment he saw it but it quickly turned into remembering the flash of light as Diamond Weapon's blast hit.]

The Shinra tower is gone. There isn't much left- I barely managed to survive.

[When everyone had thought he was dead in the blast, it had been the Turks who had gone looking for him. He only remembered seeing Rude and Reno calling down to him before passing out from the pain killers he had taken. They always managed to find him.]

[Rude wasn't quite sure what to expect. From the possibility that he might have died in those two years, to possibly finding out things about Rufus or the others that he never would have found out otherwise. The potential for jarring information was high, and he'd rather get it seated, and with plenty of refreshments available should Rufus need a drink to get started.

It seemed like he was comfortable enough, so Rude settled in, keeping an eye at the entrance of the bar and glancing at the bartender as he put his gun down on the table. A silent warning to the man to keep his distance and allow them privacy.]

What took down the tower, and how did you manage?

[Anything powerful enough to take it down wouldn't have been someone just any one could walk away from unscathed. Rude assumes all of those bandages might have been old wounds form that and is glad to see that Rufus is still in one piece.]

Either way, I'm glad you did survive.

It's hilarious actually- I owe my life to my father and my younger self not being able to sleep one night. There was an escape tunnel in the president's office- basically, an air vent that went right from the 70th floor to the bottom of the building. Luckily I was able to escape with just some broken ribs and a broken foot. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

I think you should get something to drink before I start, though.

[It was a warning but he was sure Rude would need something before he was finished. A lot of it wouldn't be easy for him to speak about but he wasn't going to avoid it just because it was unpleasant. If Rude was going to decide to stay with him than Rufus wanted him to make an informed decision.]

I have a lot to tell you and a lot of it won't be easy to hear.

[Rude appreciates that Rufus finds humor in that, but he fails to see it because all he registers is dangerous life-threatening situation with no one around to help Rufus. Not what he wants to hear from the man whose life he's so invested in for a few different reasons. Least of which being the paycheck.]

There was no one there to help you?

[He'd dismissed the idea of having a drink right away, but the more Rufus goes on the more he thinks that perhaps it would be best if they had a little something to calm the nerves. Drinking wasn't his forte, but it would give him something to do with his hands while he listened and took in parts of the story.]

One moment. I'll be right back.

[Rude pushes his gun toward Rufus to hold onto while he gets up, has a short conversation with the bartender. There's the sound of clashing like something metallic hit the ground, and then shattering glass before a loud thud. He returns, setting two glasses of the best this poor excuse for a bar had to offer, and straightens his tie as he sits down again.]

This is the best they had.

[Rufus put a hand over the gun, glancing back at Rude getting their drinks. He made no move to help though, he knew Rude had things well in hand. When he returned, Rufus slid the gun back towards him carefully]

Thank you, Rude.

[He was sure the glass hadn't been washed recently and he had no idea what it contained but he didn't care as he lifted it to his lips without wiping the rim to take a drink to steady himself. There were things he didn't like to talk about so it would take something to get him through it.]

Alright.

[He took a deep breath, took another sip of his drink, and started. He didn't look away from Rude as he talked through what happened after he became president, down to every detail, no matter how unpleasant it was. He stopped after his escape from his office after Diamond Weapon's attack, letting Rude have a moment to process everything. He wasn't sure what he was expecting but he watched the other man's face carefully.]

[Rude listens, not touching his drink at all until specific parts where he knows for certain Rufus might have believed that he would die alone, or amongst enemies. It was painful to think the man the Turks would dedicate their lives to could ever feel so alone. Or abandoned? He may be projecting his feelings, so he takes a breath, and a drink.

His jaw unclenches as he does his best to retain a neutral expression through it all like he was treating this as any other mission briefing. It’s more common from the timeline he remembers for Tseng to do the majority of the direct communication with Rufus but even before the death of his father, the Turks had become loyal to him. They certainly weren’t strangers but Rude wouldn’t dare have the audacity to suggest they were more even if he felt that way himself. To the point where he knew Rufus’ birthday like he knows his own phone number.]

I’m glad we were able to find you, but I’m sorry we weren’t there with you throughout it.

I don't blame any of you. Everyone else just assumed I was dead, Scarlet and Heidegger tried to take over but it was only you four who went looking for me in the rubble. I owe each of you my life many times over.

[The worst was about to come and Rufus needed Rude to be prepared for that. He wasn't surprised Rude hadn't left though. They had always been by his side through the worst, even from childhood when it was Veld who was there for him more than his own father.

They were more than just his subordinates. Different than friends. Rufus trusted each of them without hesitation.]

I don't remember anything after you nad Reno finding me until I woke up in a hospital. Tseng made the decision to leave Midgar- he wanted to go further away but I insisted that we go to Kalm where there was a safehouse used by the Turks at times that no one knew about. I wouldn't abandon Midgar even though it seemed like Meteor was going to hit any moment.

[He paused to take a long drink from his glass at this part.]

I insisted on sending the four of you back to Midgar to assist the evacuation. What happened after that was the result of my decision, not yours or Tseng's. None of you are to blame nor do I hold any of you accountable.

Edited 2020-05-26 05:21 (UTC)

[Rude just listens. Of all the people to have been left with the company, Scarlet and Heidegger were the most problematic. Even Reeve and Hojo would be better for Midgar than those two. He takes a deep breath, and finds he's giving away his thoughts on things without words simply from how he breathes.

He's not surprised the Turks looked for him, though. He'd always been loyal to Rufus first and Shinra second. So far it hadn't gotten them into too much trouble, and it kept the paychecks coming. Thankfully at his last point in time Rufus was the one in charge now.]

I see.

[Rude pushes his sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose, still listening intently as though if he missed a single word of Rufus' his whole life might end. He frames this next part a very specific way and Rude can already tell he's going to hate what happens even before he hears it. His body is stiff and sitting upright when he makes himself drink some more just to calm himself.]

Just tell me. I can handle it. [It hadn't occurred to him that what would come next wasn't the death of himself, Tseng, or even Rude. It was something else that Rude couldn't have predicted or seen coming. Rufus wasn't dragging it out to keep him in suspense, he was trying to keep himself emotionally separated from what happened.

It had to have been something bad happening to Rufus, and now he's unsure how much he really wants to hear.]

[Rufus's voice is even as he told Rude about how Mutten had found him and chained him in the basement of the villa. He glossed over the torture, only saying that he had managed to string him along for two weeks despite Mutten's 'best attempts'. He doubted he needed to go into future detail about that. Turks were well versed in those kinds of attempts to gather information.

There is no change in his voice as he talked about how Kilmister, one of Hojo's former research assistants had gotten him out of there only to put him with Geostigma patients. This time he did pause to take a long drink. This part was going to get ugly.]

When the Lifestream came up to protect the planet from Meteor, it was tainted with the traces of Sephiroth and Jenova. Anyone who came into contact with it contracted Geostigma. I wasn't infected yet when Kilmister took me to his research 'facility', I was there to give him leverage to get what he wanted from Shinra.

[Which is why Rufus had the man shot without hesitation as soon as Kilmister had uttered the name Sephiroth.]

I won't tell you how I got it. [This time there is a slight hitch to his voice that would be undetectable to anyone who didn't know him well but he kept his composure nonetheless. That moment had been a reoccurring nightmare over the years.] I was sick for about two years, until just before I came here. It's gone now, thankfully.

[Rude was right. He wasn't going to like this part of the story at all. He starts to drink more heavily until he has nothing left in his glass, but he feels as though that hadn't been nearly enough. The thought of getting up and leaving Rufus alone again for even a second was more upsetting so he stays put and clenches his gloved fists at his side.]

So you were tortured for days, and then infected with this Geostigma?

[That much was clear, but he's summarizing to let Rufus know he was listening. Very closely. Rufus must know that Rude is already upset by it all, so hearing that he won't go into detail about how he got it could have been another issue where he didn't want to relive the details as with the torture, or he simply didn't think Rude could handle it.

The latter might have certainly been true. He didn't want to do anything in that moment put put his fist through a wall. Why did he knock out the bartender? He could have used someone to bring him a bottle. Rude stands up from the booth they're seated at and slides his gun back into the holster at his lower back and replaces his jacket over it before walking to the bar to grab the bottle of what they were drinking.

If anyone so much as stepped through those doors Rude might just cap them without asking questions. It's the way he was feeling right now. He returns, pours more drink into each glass, then takes a seat right beside Rufus instead of across from him. If he felt sheltered before, Rude was not going to make his life easy now.]

Even if it happens in the future, I can't forgive myself for not being there. If I was there maybe..perhaps none of it would have happened that way. He places his hand on top of Rufus' for a moment in silence.]

The Geostigma is what made the bandages black?

Yes.

[He wasn't going to get emotional about it. It was in the past and he had survived it, no matter what Mutten or Kilmister had done to him. No matter what Jenova had done to him. He would always do what he had to in order to survive day from day. That had gotten him through the last couple of years even on the bad days.

He didn't move when Rude got up to get the bottle and when Rude refilled his glass he drank half of it down. He only glanced at Rude sitting beside him but didn't move away. It was comforting.]

There is nothing to forgive, Rude. I owe you and the others my life. You stayed with me even when I was ill. Yes, it was the sores, they produced a black subst-

[It's when Rude puts his hand over Rufus's that he trails off. He had been holding everything inside for years. Holding in his own emotions since he had to carry the weight of trying to atone for what he and Shinra have done. Even when he was in the wheelchair wrapped in blankets he was still Rufus Shinra who didn't let anyone see him cry or bleed. He had refused to dwell on his own mortality for too long even as the black marks spread across his skin and he wasted slowly away.

Something inside of him shattered suddenly. The barrier he had built to keep all those fears and anxieties away cracked and his hand shook under Rude's. He couldn't just calmly put aside his emotions to deal with another day right now, it was suddenly catching up to him and he didn't know what to do.

His breath caught, slightly shaky, as he turned his palm up to lace his fingers with Rude's. His entire body shook with emotions he had been shoving down and suppressing for two years. He trusted Rude but old habits died hard and he didn't trust himself to speak again.]

Edited 2020-05-27 06:25 (UTC)

[Rufus' hand turns to slide fingers between his own, and Rude doesn't say anything else. What else can he say? He can't take back what happened to him, and he definitely can't retroactively put himself where he wasn't, but what he can do is make sure nothing like that ever happens again while he's alive to do something about it.

And if he ever gets back to his real time, he'll make sure none of it ever happens.

Rude notices the tremble of his body, and immediately turns to drape his other arm over those shoulders, pulling Rufus in toward him for a hug out of pure reflex alone. It's not professional at all, but no one was watching, and he couldn't just leave him to deal with all of that on his own. No. He was here now, and so they could share that burden. It's a wonder he manages to remain so composed, but Rude suspects it has to do with how upset he is at himself and the situation as a whole.]

It's okay. I won't let anything like that happen to you again.

[Some days Rufus surprised everyone, and they all wondered if the man really needed protecting at all. This was a much-needed reminder of who he was and why he and the Turks needed each other. The world was dangerous, even when you were trying to help fix it.]

[There is no protest when Rude suddenly drew him in for a hug. He couldn't remember the last time someone had actually hugged him- perhaps when he was a child? He had forgotten what it felt like.

There is only a slight hesitation before he wrapped his arms around Rude in return though he was uncertain at first. It was just them in the bar right now and there was no one in the world Rufus trusted more than his Turks. This was just between them- he knew Rude wouldn't let anyone else witness this moment.

Even though this was not professional in the least, Rufus leaned against Rude, letting himself be vulnerable for the first time in years in Rude's arms as he tried to calm down but failed. There was too much that had been shoved down for too long.

He couldn't say anything as he closed his eyes, holding on as if for dear life. A single tear ran down his cheek, soaking into the material of Rude's suit.

[Rude knows how this might have looked to anyone else, so he's thankful no one was there, and also would have wanted to do it regardless of whether the bar was crowded. It's doubtful that Rufus would have allowed it in that situation, but hypotheticals were unimportant now.]

I hope you know that you're more than just a job to me--to all of us.

[He could really only speak for himself, but he doesn't know what his life would look like without Rufus who gave the Turks purpose. Rude isn't particularly good at anything besides kicking ass and taking names. Still, he did have the capacity for softer moments when he was being sentimental. Rude runs his hand up and down Rufus' back to sooth him.]

Your safety is important to me. You're important to me.

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have some gay this lovely afternoon